When Learning Isn't Fun

I've got to say, one of the hardest things about being in school since I was 5 years old is getting up every morning and knowing only one thing for certain: that today I will learn something new.  Unfortunately in the high-pressure environment of a dental residency, it's easy to forget that we (the other 4 residents and I) are learning and often we feel like punching bags where the fists are different tasks and questions that we aren't equipped to do or answer.

It's easy for you, the reader, to tell from that statement that an AEGD, or any residency for that matter, can feel like a beat-down at times.  As I sit here and write this, I know for a fact that I'm going to feel very dumb and silly multiple times this week for either not knowing or forgetting something that someone expects me to know.  However, once you come to this realization and strip away the stress that comes with chronic unpreparedness, you can start learning.

I had to figure this all out again in the last few months and coming to terms with this has been refreshing.  I must do the best I can each day without sacrificing my personal health and wellbeing to perform at a high level.  It's not just for me but for the future of the Air Force and I owe it to each of my faculty members and patients to constantly give my best effort.  I will often fall short and I will often fail, but once you can realize that that is part of the way we must learn, it isn't so bad.

I know this is a little different than my other posts but I write it to point something out.  When things seem hard, take a step back and try to understand why they seem hard.  Often it's just that, they seem hard but really aren't.  Perhaps it's our perspective that makes them hard.  If I know ahead of time that the way they are teaching me is by asking me questions I may not know and having me do difficult procedures, then I can be totally 100% comfortable with not knowing things and failing! Because if I believe that the intentions of the residency are pure, to make me a better dentist, then I have to believe the methods are pure as well and that's ok.

It's been a hard month as we've transitioned into more clinic but I'm starting to get the hang of it.  I can see improvements already and I know what the different faculty members expect.  Best of all, I'm learning why they expect what they do.  It isn't for their own self-pleasure or to make sure we all have a crappy time, but to improve our thinking skills and our hand skills to perform at a level that will allow us to exit in August 2015 and be able to handle far more cases with great confidence that we have never possessed before.

Because I trust the end is well intentioned, I can trust the process is well intentioned, too.  And that in and of itself is why this next month will be better than the last.

Steel on Target and Chemical Warfare

These last few weeks have absolutely flown by.  I finally finished the COT guide and am seeing patients in my AEGD.  Here are some thoughts so far about the experience.

If you don't want to be in the military, the HPSP is not for you.  The "military" things die down a little after you finish in-processing to your base but you have to wear the uniform every day and operate in the understanding that you're doing dental work on members of the military to further the mission. 

Air Force dentistry is awesome and frustrating at the same time.  Having specialists and people who genuinely care deeply about the work they do is awesome.  The paperwork can be confusing and redundant and sometimes you'll wish you could "experiment" a little more.  By experiment I mean try some more cutting edge things.  My base does have a CEREC machine but you won't see us throwing CAD-CAM crowns on any tooth we feel like.  Everything the Air Force does is backed heavily with research because they have to do what is going to be the absolute best for airmen and soldiers in deployed situations.  A posterior composite may work for a patient on a yearly recall, but amalgam has the better long term track record so you'll see much more of that on posterior teeth, for example.

The military community is special.  People understand each other and get that the mission is crucial.  There's an overarching feeling of teamwork that is really cool to feel every day.  Some things about the Air Force are frustrating when it comes to dentistry but it's hard to ignore how important the dental work is.  

Financially the Air Force isn't as lucrative as private practice but as a new clinician, I'm happy to be where I am to further my skills and training for free (and getting paid!).  The compensation is more than enough without having student loans and you should be able to live comfortably if you are budgeting and planning correctly.

All in all, I'm really happy with my decision.  I've had a few late nights but the weekends are always a welcome time to relax.  I try to get absolutely everything done during the week so I don't have to come up and work on weekends.  So far it's working out!

If you're about to head to COT, check out the COT guide on the Additional Resources page!

[The title of the post is somewhat of an inside joke but just know that they're very corny jokes about using burs to cut teeth (steel on target) and fluoride (chemical warfare)]

And Now Everything is Different

In a few short months, seemingly everything in my life is different than it was.  Here's a quick rundown of everything that's changed in the last few months:

May:
Graduated dental school
Set up my move to Colorado Springs

June:
Wife quit her job in Oklahoma City
Actually moved to Colorado Springs
I left for COT (at the tail end of June)

July:
Wife got a new job in Colorado Springs
I did the COT thing in Alabama for 5 weeks

August:
Flew home from COT
Wife actually started her new job
I started my new life as a resident at the AF Academy


Dang.  That's a lot.  It was a lot, still is a lot, and definitely feels like a lot.  I'm not going to get super deep into any of these things in this post for a couple of reasons.

Reason 1: It would be a novel
Reason 2: I started a new tab called "Additional Resources"

In the "Additional Resources" tab, I'll be posting full documents of various experiences I've had.  When I started this blog in 2010, I was chronicling my dental school and Air Force journey.  As I've gotten older and time has moved along, some of these things have actually ended.  That's awesome because that part of my life is now in the past and nothing about it can change again.  This means I can post full documents detailing every little thing I want to talk about in a place that you can access and refer to without having to jump on my blog to read!  For example, I'm almost done with my full writeup about COT which is a very common topic I receive questions about.  I'm also planning to do one about dental school in general as well as one about what it's like to be a student on the HPSP scholarship.  I'm technically active duty now so my HPSP days are over.  I've also done a full move with the military so I can definitely give you some start to finish information on that as well.

Here are just a few thoughts I have about the last few months.

When change happens in life, embrace it.  Understand that it is temporary but very necessary for us to move forward.  Think of it like a rocket on the launchpad.  It will never fly without a fast and abrupt change.  The fuel must be ignited and that can be very scary.  Eventually the rocket reaches outer space, does what it needs to do, and now a whole new thing has started because of that.  Just like our life, we can't sit on the launchpad forever.  Talking about doing something and doing it are very different actions and if you want something new, something has to change.

With that said, let me talk briefly about a few things that I'll dip into more detail on later:

Moving:  This is really nice because the military will move all your stuff for you for free.  You can move part of your things and that's totally fine.  I would definitely take valuables with you in your own car (if you are driving).  They are efficient up until you want them to deliver it.  Expect delays of up to several weeks in the summer.  Call the moving company and keep tabs on the progress of your move.

COT: This is not an easy month but it was worth it.  You will learn fast and you don't have a choice.  It's a 5 week flood of information and you'll feel like you're in some weird Air Force blender for 5 weeks while you sweat and march all over Maxwell Air Force Base.  Be prepared to be sleepy on a daily basis but keep a good attitude.  When you're being yelled at, ignore the volume and listen to the words.  Keep a good perspective and it will go by quickly.

The Air Force:  In-processing involves getting an ID card, making sure your pay is correct, doing computer training, etc.  It's a long process but embrace it.  The military is a massive system and it's a wonder they keep things as straight as they do.  Respect those ranked above you and enjoy the process.  If your mindset going in is "I can't wait to do my time and be out" you're going to hate it.  Even if you are planning on getting out, you can't for a few years so make the best of it!

Time to run but hoping to keep the blog a little more consistent this year!  Starting to see patients in a couple weeks at my AEGD so that should be a blast.  Be sure to check out the "Additional Resources" tab in the coming weeks for a whole new set of awesome information!