It's easy for you, the reader, to tell from that statement that an AEGD, or any residency for that matter, can feel like a beat-down at times. As I sit here and write this, I know for a fact that I'm going to feel very dumb and silly multiple times this week for either not knowing or forgetting something that someone expects me to know. However, once you come to this realization and strip away the stress that comes with chronic unpreparedness, you can start learning.
I had to figure this all out again in the last few months and coming to terms with this has been refreshing. I must do the best I can each day without sacrificing my personal health and wellbeing to perform at a high level. It's not just for me but for the future of the Air Force and I owe it to each of my faculty members and patients to constantly give my best effort. I will often fall short and I will often fail, but once you can realize that that is part of the way we must learn, it isn't so bad.
I know this is a little different than my other posts but I write it to point something out. When things seem hard, take a step back and try to understand why they seem hard. Often it's just that, they seem hard but really aren't. Perhaps it's our perspective that makes them hard. If I know ahead of time that the way they are teaching me is by asking me questions I may not know and having me do difficult procedures, then I can be totally 100% comfortable with not knowing things and failing! Because if I believe that the intentions of the residency are pure, to make me a better dentist, then I have to believe the methods are pure as well and that's ok.
It's been a hard month as we've transitioned into more clinic but I'm starting to get the hang of it. I can see improvements already and I know what the different faculty members expect. Best of all, I'm learning why they expect what they do. It isn't for their own self-pleasure or to make sure we all have a crappy time, but to improve our thinking skills and our hand skills to perform at a level that will allow us to exit in August 2015 and be able to handle far more cases with great confidence that we have never possessed before.
Because I trust the end is well intentioned, I can trust the process is well intentioned, too. And that in and of itself is why this next month will be better than the last.